A conditional gesture: making kimchi alone

Performance, 3 hours and 40 minutes, April 15, 2022. San Luis Obispo, CA.

Cabbage, coarse Korean sea salt, water, fish sauce, gochugaru, chives, green onions, Korean pear, daikon radish, carrot, fermented salted shrimp, ginger, garlic, sugar, rice flour, glass jars, bamboo matt, latex gloves

Photos taken by Lauryn Sugai.

The ritual of making kimchi embodies the deep affection passed down within matrilineal familial relationships between grandmother, mother, daughter, and more. Recipes are passed by word of mouth within these relationships, signifying the generational passing and preservation of a cultural ritual. Through this performance, I insert myself into this ritual as a trans individual who is mixed race and a second-generation diasporic Korean. By making kimchi alone, the dislocation of the trans subject within the ritual and broader diasporic Korean narrative is emphasized. The gesture of affection, the notion of sharing this ritual within the matrilineal line of the family, is interrogated by the implications of immigration, assimilation, cisheteropatriarchy, and consequent severed generational bonds.

After fermenting for two months, the jars were installed and presented on the same bamboo mat I sat on during the performance. In front of the jars, I placed the gloves that I wore while making kimchi. The smell of kimchi lingered on the gloves and permeated the site of the installation. This disruption of space in relation to sight and smell contributed to the idea of comfort and discomfort, belonging and isolation, inclusion and exclusion, specifically regarding the diasporic trans experience.